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Saturday, May 13, 2006

Top Ten Predictions El Presidente Bush Will Say Monday Night

1. I whole heartily endorse the "Leave No Illegal Alien Behind" Act.
2. A virtual fence is neat
3. A real border fence might keep out people we need to fill jobs Americans won't do.
4. I meant it when I said the Minutemen were vigilantes.
5. Amnesty is in the eye of the beholder and this beholder wants to give it out.
6. I might hurt my very good friend's Vincente Fox's feelings if I don't give out amnesty.
7. Illegal smegal....a spoonful of enforcement will help the amnesty go down.
8. In the interest of expediency, I am hereby announcing an executive order that says that all the citizens of Central America are now honorary citizens of the United States. Welcome
9. Can't we all just get along?
10. Borders....we don't need no stinkin borders.

I am turning this post into another contest. Whoever comes up with the best/funniest speech Bush will give on Monday night will win a half ounce $10 Silver Liberty Dollar.


  • At 4:40 AM, Blogger The Yell said…

    I think you hit the high notes; apart from praising immigrant contributions to American culture: "Their crispy churros cheer us. Their icy Jarritos refreshen."

  • At 11:31 PM, Blogger Chaz Lamrusco said…

    Here is my entry:
    (President Bush talking to himself - mistakenly carried live by CNN)

    Lets see here. I need to remember what Tony Snow told me to do. I need to look
    sincere. Really in control. I've got to fool everybody, including those crazy bloggers in Orange County. This is going to be the biggest Snow job ever, because
    Tony wrote the speech!

    (glances up and gives deer-in-headlight look into CNN camera)

    Aide: "Mr. President, you are live in 10 seconds 5-4-3-2-1"

    Good evening. I have asked for a few minutes of your time to discuss a matter of national importance: the reform of America's immigration system...


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